Need More Coffee - FF April 2019

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday

of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants

submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture.

Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up

with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Dawn of Cognitive Script.

1. Oh come on, why is this thing not working?

2. Must be Monday for the pump too cause the gas still hasn't started and I've been
standing here forever.

3. Me sitting at the other pump giggling, she must need more coffee.

4. Okay I can't take it anymore, "Ma'am that pump is out of order."

5. She just continues to stand there, butt against the car, waiting for the gas. Oh well,
I tried, guess she'll be there a long time.

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

Baking In A Tornado             https://www.BakingInATornado.com

Southern Belle Charm         https://www.southernbellecharm.com

The Bergham Chronicles     https://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com

https://www.bookwormkitchen.com/2019/04/26/funny-friday-april-3/

No Longer Friends -March SSS

Have you ever had a friend for YEARS and all of a sudden you're not? I have. It is devastating. seriously. Not once but twice I have had this happen.

My friend...we'll say Monique, we had been friends for over 20 years. Our husbands were friends, her kids babysat my kids, we went to church together, shopping together, damn we even went on vacation together a few times.

Then one day there was a misunderstanding about when I would be at her house to clean for her. She had become disabled and I was cleaning for her every week. I couldn't make it and had phoned to schedule a different time. She misunderstood and next thing I know. BAM! No phone calls, no return calls. No email returns and then her husband contacts me and says I am blocked and for me to NO LONGER come around or call.

WTH are you kidding me?

I returned his email and explained my side of what happened. He said he was siding with his wife and that she no longer wanted to hear from me.

She even told mutual friends that they could not mention my name in her presence any longer.

One mutual friend is a licensed counselor, she has in the past offered to mediate but she refuses.

There is nothing else I can do. I  worried over it, fretted, fussed, prayed and was battling migraine headaches for a while and one day decided enough was enough. I let it go. It saddens me on occasion if I think about it too long but it is what it is.

People are put in our lives for different reasons and different seasons.

Your “Secret Subject” is:

If one of your closest friends made it obvious that he/she no longer wants to have a relationship would you pursue it to find out why?

It was submitted by: https://batteredhope.blogspot.com 

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 9 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado                           https://www.BakingInATornado.com

Never Ever Give Up Hope             https://batteredhope.blogspot.com

https://theblogging911.com/my-life-reinvention-secret-subject-swap

Cognitive Script                           https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com   

Southern Belle Charm                 https://www.southernbellecharm.com  

The Bergham Chronicles               https://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/    

The Crazy Mama Llama                  https://thecrazymamallama.com

Part-time Working Hockey Mom        https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/

Climaxed                                   https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com             

       

Well Bust My Britches - SSS

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 8 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

Well bust my britches! Of course Karen would want to know my "embarrassing story" and I'd love to say I don't have one. Actually I have several but I'm choosing the least embarrassing one. Well, not really because they were all really bad in my head.

So it's shopping day. I'm out the door with my favorite shirt and jeans on. Double check, yep, list, phone, wallet, debit card and keys. So I'm off. I hit the first store, in and out in record time. The dreaded Wally World, now I drive straight across the street, I survived that my reward is an iced coffee from DD. Mmm mmm

Now I'm out in traffic again, it is horrible here in HOTLanta. I make it to my favorite store, Aldi. I get my shopping done. They had everything on my list. I bag it all up and to the truck I go. It's loaded up, I return my cart and head for home.

Once everything is in the house, took a couple of trips. I'm off to the little girls room.

Okay...I'm sitting there and look down. Hmm my jeans look funny.

OMG to my horror, oh it is NOT funny! My jeans are ripped!! NOT a tear, not a little hole. I mean RIPPED like a BIG gaping hole!

HOLY CRAP WHEN did this happen???? Did I walk around in ALL THREE stores like this? Could anyone see my thighs?? Oh dear sweet mama!

I can't even get up. I'm sitting there horrified. I finally get up the courage, get up and check myself in the mirror. I can't tell.

I go about putting away the stuff and groceries. Hubby comes home for lunch and I'm like "Hey look at my butt and tell me if you see anything"

OKAY not the best way to ask this question!

He's like "woo hoo I've got time."

I said "time for what?"

He said "never mind, obviously that's not what you meant."

I just rolled my eyes. "NO that's not what I meant!"

I said "LOOK "

He said "okay I'm looking but for what?"

I said "do you see anything?"

He says "yes, your butt, why?"

I said, "do my jeans look weird?" I walk a little.

He said "wait, wait, come here"

I walk over to him, he looks at me and says "Umm you can't wear those out anymore."

I'm almost in tears! OMG You can tell!!!!

He's laughing, I'm laughing/crying "It's not funny"

Aww come here I'm sorry.

I said, OMG I was all over 3 stores! he said "honey you were in WM do you really think anyone noticed?"

I said "OMG I hope not, I don't want to be one peopleofwalmart.com"

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado                             https://www.BakingInATornado.com

The Lieber Family Blog                          http://thelieberfamily.com

The Bergham Chronicles                        https://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com  

The Blogging 911                            http://theblogging911.com/blog    

Cognitive Script                              https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com/

Never Ever Give Up Hope                 https://batteredhope.blogspot.com    

Climaxed                                           https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com  

Part-Time Working Hockey Mom          https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/      

Your “Secret Subject” is:

Tell us an embarrassing story.

It was submitted by: https://Bakinginatornado.com

Guilty or Not Guilty - SS - July

Innocent people are convicted every day. The magnitude of the number is staggering. There are tens of thousands, over a hundred thousand people serving life sentences for nonviolent crimes that were their first offense. Is this fair?

Sharanda Jones

Alice Marie Johnson

Obama pardoned 212, reduced the sentence of 1715 including 568 of those serving life sentences.

How do you feel about this? Do you leave it up to the law makers thinking that they are the only ones with enough intelligence or information to make these decisions? What if they are wrong? What if it were your family member?

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 11 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado                            https://www.BakingInATornado.com

The Lieber Family Blog              http://thelieberfamily.com

The Bergham Chronicles                        https://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com  

The Blogging 911                            http://theblogging911.com/blog    

Cognitive Script                       https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com/

Never Ever Give Up Hope                 https://batteredhope.blogspot.com

My Brand of Crazy                    https://sarahsbrandcrazy.blogspot.com/

Climaxed                               https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com   

Part-Time Working Hockey Mom             https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/

Southern Belle Charm                      http://www.southernbellecharm.com  

Paradoxical Suds                                https://paradoxicalsuds.wordpress.com    

There have been movies made about certain cases. I've seen on the six o'clock news where someone is granted clemency and released from prison after serving over twenty years. Innocent people. Sitting behind bars for days, weeks, months and years, all the while knowing they are innocent but crushed by the system.

Then we have those who are guilty. Some poor smuck ran a light and hit a parked car. Left the scene. No one was hurt. But they find him, he is arrested and after months in jail goes to trial. He's never been in any type of trouble before but all of a sudden his two wrong decisions land him in prison. Due to enhancements that are added during his trial, he ends up being found guilty. Jury goes home. Months later the judge passes his final judgment. His sentencing time. LIFE without parole. What? What happened? Was he wrong for drinking and driving? Yes. Did he make a stupid move by leaving the scene? Yes. Was anyone hurt? no. So why this harsh sentence?

It happens everyday. Our justice system is broke. The thugs out there killing innocent kids, robbing old folks and dealing drugs get a slap on the wrist while first time nonviolent offenders receive harsh sentencing.

It is appalling. How do we stop it? Stand up for ourselves. Research the politicians running for office. Vote for those who are really "for the people" and vote against bonds because there is always a hidden agenda inside that slips through the cracks.

Write letters to your congressman, state representatives and local authorities. Don't bury your head in the sand because it doesn't affect you. One day it might, then what?

I try very hard to keep my opinions to myself and not discuss politics or religion however, this subject was thrust upon me. I wasn't sure how to handle it. I read about several cases, did my research and decided to handle it this way.
Thank you Jenniy for  bringing this to my attention. Did I know about some of these cases yes, but the number of cases, no.

Your “Secret Subject” is:

You've been tasked with choosing one person who has been convicted of a crime and presenting their case to the President for potential pardon or commutation a la Kim Kardashian West in recent news. Who do you choose and how do you present the case?

It was submitted by: https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com   

        

New Do -UYW - June

If you are my friend on facebook, you have seen my new profile picture. It has gotten a lot of attention, some good, some bad.
My hair had become more than I can handle on a daily basis. Down to my waist, thin, baby fine and tangles so easy.
So on my birthday feeling fully loaded, not with alcohol but with a sense of purpose. I headed out to find a hair salon.
I decided to get it cut, spice it up, do something different.
Well, a lopsided pink do was not exactly what I had in mind but honestly I love it. According to my friends, it is "not me" but who cares. It's fun and daring. When was the last time you did something fun and daring?
Would you cut off over 20 inches of your hair, straighten your curls, color it pink and look like a modern day sexy Marilyn Monroe style?
I didn't. It was a snapchat filter but I do like it and I am amazed at home many people actually thought I did do it.
Do I present myself as the type to do that? I guess they think so.
Thanks Jules for these words, they came at just the right time. So fun!

Your words are:

More than I can handle ~ Fully loaded ~ Pink ~ Lopsided ~ Decided 

It was submitted by: https://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com           

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

Baking In A Tornado                      https://www.bakinginatornado.com

On the Border                               https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/ 

The Bergham Chronicles                        https://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com  

Southern Belle Charm                        http://www.southernbellecharm.com

The Blogging 911                            http://theblogging911.com/blog   

Cognitive Script                       https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com/  

Part-Time Working Hockey Mom      https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/

My Brand of Crazy                    https://sarahsbrandcrazy.blogspot.com/

Climaxed                               https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com        

Cat Burglar SS - May

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 10 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

Sit down and let me tell you the story of the cat burglar. Back in 1989 my husband, then boyfriend, was deployed to Iraq and for the first time I was alone in our home for what felt like eternity.

I did have Max. My orange tabby. He was my buddy, my snuggle kitty and companion.

I was in bed one night and kept hearing a noise outside. Concerned because there had been issues in our neighborhood with break-ins.

Finally dozing off, tossing and turning, I hear something in my hallway. I'll admit, I'm a little freaked out. Laying there trying to decide what to do. Okay this is long before cell phones or cordless phones. I did have a baseball bat near my bed.

Staying very still, listening and watching for any movement. Then it happens...the toilet flushes. I'm like OMG this jerk has broken in and now is using my bathroom?!?!

Ever so slowly I scooted to the edge of the bed, reached for my Louisville Slugger and rolled on to the floor. Low crawling toward the door, I froze, the toilet flushed again. Dear lord what was he doing in there?
Inching toward the hallway, listening and trying not to breath. I make it to the door, ever so quietly I stand up. Bat in hand, ready to swing, stepping into the hall and making my way to the bathroom door. I see it is standing wide open, gee guess he's not a shy burglar.
Simultaneously I jump in the door way, flip on the light and scream. Don't ask me why I screamed I guess I thought it would scare the burglar into submission.
And then, the toilet flushed.
There, sitting on the seat, entertaining himself with the swirling water...was Max. My cat was flushing my toilet at 3 a.m.
Relief flooded me and then I was mad. This dad gum cat had woken me up at 3 a.m. all because he was entertaining himself watching the water swirl in the bowl.
Then the laughter hit. I must have laughed for an hour. I said to myself, I can't wait for him to call and tell him all about the "cat burglar".

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado                            https://www.BakingInATornado.com

The Lieber Family Blog                        http://thelieberfamily.com

The Bergham Chronicles                        https://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com 

Southern Belle Charm                        http://www.southernbellecharm.com   

 The Blogging 911                            http://theblogging911.com/blog 

Never Ever Give Up Hope                   https://batteredhope.blogspot.com  

Cognitive Script                                https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com/  

Part-Time Working Hockey Mom         https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/  

My Brand of Crazy                              https://sarahsbrandcrazy.blogspot.com/

Climaxed                                          https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com        

Your “Secret Subject” is:

Tell a funny story (true or made up) about your pet (or a pet you wish you had).

It was submitted by: http://thelieberfamily.com         Cat

The Year Was 1982 -SSS

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 10 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

The year was 1982, so long ago but I remember it like it was yesterday. December the 29th to be exact. The year I became a bride. I was 16 1/2 (remember when you HAD to add the half because you wanted to be older). Oh man, I thought I knew it all, had it all figured out and nothing could stand in my way. Boy was I wrong. Looking back I realize that I didn't know a damn thing bout life. How to run a house, yes, how to pay bills and create a budget, yes, how to cook, yes, how to do laundry, yes, how to be a student and a wife...well not exactly.

My mother pleaded with me not to go through with it. My dad threatened to kill him if I was pregnant, which I was NOT by the way. Family and friends gathered in the living room of my grandparents home. It had been 79 degrees earlier that day but shortly after the "I Do's" the rain began. It fell fast and hard, so did my life and reality.

What had I done? WHY had I done it? I never told a soul that I regretted it, that I was scared shitless, that I had made a mistake. I went about my life happy as a clam on the outside but knowing deep down it was all wrong.

Wrong guy, wrong time, too young, and on and on.

If there is anything in my life I regret it is getting married at 16. However, with that being said, I would not go back and change it.

Why? Because any change in the past alters the present and my present is incredible. So even if I had a pill or a Delorean I would not take the "do over", I just wouldn't.

Yes lord knows I've had my share and a few others shares of disappointment, hardship and grief, but in the grand scheme of things it has worked out. I saw the path for myself, it was hard, I saw another path I thought was easier but didn't see the ambushes that lay in wait around the corners. I didn't see that at the top of the hill I had to go down at break neck speed.

No way I could have known that life would be so unfair, mean and downright hateful to me. But I made some bad decisions early on and learned very difficult lessons from them.

Today I am stronger, wiser and a lot bolder.

So, no do overs for me.

What about you? Is there a time or event that you would "do over"?

 Your “Secret Subject” is:

January is a time for do overs. Pick a year and do it over.

It was submitted by: https://sarahsbrandcrazy.blogspot.com/

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado                            http://www.BakingInATornado.com  

Never Ever Give Up Hope                      https://batteredhope.blogspot.com    

The Lieber Family Blog                           http://thelieberfamily.com  

Part-time Working Hockey Mom               https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/ 

The Bergham Chronicles                  https://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com    

My Brand of Crazy                              https://sarahsbrandcrazy.blogspot.com/ 

Southern Belle Charm                        http://www.southernbellecharm.com   

Climaxed                                           https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com 

The Blogging 911                                   http://theblogging911.com/blog

A hot tip...

I drive for a living in the customer service industry...we have some VERY interesting folks. sometimes they border on "ready for a padded room" and sometimes they are VERY wealthy, powerful business men and women.

This particular day, it was...well let's say odd.

We had reached the destination and he paid his fare. He reached in his pocket and drew out several small odd items.

Yep, that's it. My tip. He said with a sly smile and looking around to see if anyone was around, "you know these bottle caps are worth money"
I almost laughed, but saw the seriousness in his weathered face.
Wow...okay.
"Well sir, I can't accept drugs".
"Oh that thar ain't no drug, it's power pills. If ya take'em it will give you clarity of the future and make ya smarter."
Oh my...
"well, thank you. And the rock? Is it special?"I asked him not sure what he would say and honestly not expecting what I got.
"That thar ain't no rock, that's a piece of the planet that the aliens took me to. We ain't the only ones ya know. They are watching us, waiting for the right time to take over."

He looked around, quickly got out of the car and disappeared into the bushes by the building.
WOW, now that was one strange bird as my Granddaddy would have said.

An alien rock, intelligent pills and money caps...yeah that was my hot tip for the day! LOL
FYI I smelled the pills and I'm pretty sure they were garlic, but either way it all went in the trash. So if anyone finds these items and tries them. You're welcome.