Friday, August 25, 2017

Miracle Mike

Welcome everyone! Another edition of Funny Friday where my friends and I use the same photo but each write 5 captions. Be sure to visit each one and see how differently our minds and interpretations work.

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Funny Friday  150 X 150.jpg

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Minette of Southern Belle Charm.
43 - Southern Belle Charm - Aug 2017.jpg

1. Okay Min, why the hell did you drag me out of the house?

2. Mike, I need a photo for Funny Friday! Now sit still while I line up the frame.

3. Okay, and WHY did you drag my buddy out here?

4. Because I thought it would be funny.

5. Why? Oh never mind, you're a woman and I never guess it right anyway. Do I have to smile?

I love Miracle Mike! He is my wonderful friend Minette's husband and walking miracle. His buddy in the chair normally sits in his man cave. Mike is a trooper, a survivor and great guy!

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:
The Bergham Chronicles  
Southern Belle Charm
Bookworm in the Kitchen
Baking In A Tornado   

Friday, August 11, 2017

The Tragic Triangle - UYW

She sat in the car outside of her ex's house. The massive New England style home that could have been hers, should have been hers but no...Melanie lived there. UGH! Just the thought of the name made the acid in her stomach reach her mouth. Hot and frothy like that bubble headed Melanie!
Chaos reigned in her life now. She constantly felt guilty for leaving but knew she would not have survived another year, no day, no moment in that house of loveless fakery.
Yes, she faked everything with Adam. Her happiness, her joy in volunteering at his office parties, the office party chit chat, the PTA meetings, in bed, especially in bed. His love making was flimsy, pathetic and boring.
Bravo Melanie, you won the golden goose. The only thing Adam was good for was making money.
There was the He used it and his powers of persuasion to get what he wanted, bribery. Yes he even bribed his own children for their time and affection. He was turning them into brats and they wanted to spend more and more time with him and not her.
She hated Adam. Sometimes she wished she was invisible so she could walk around inside of his house and see exactly what went on. Then again, she didn't want to know. What if everyone truly was happier there than in her small penniless sad little world.
There they were, living in that massive home, with the elaborate income, cars, a yacht, even his own private plane.
What did she have? Besides contempt for his sorry lying cheating ass...That's what she had. She couldn't afford a good lawyer and so she got shafted. Now she worked two jobs, barely saw the boys, drove a broke down POS car and lived in a teeny tiny 2 bedroom apartment with roaches and a water leak.
Some times she thought about ending it all. No she would never do that, one it would hurt her kids and two she was chicken. OMG what if she tried and failed, like everything else she had attempted, what if she screwed up suicide and ended up a vegetable where she could hear everything  going on around her but was trapped in a shell of a body....oh God no! No! She would not go there.
Kim took a deep breath and let it out. At that very moment someone knocked on her window, scareing the beejeezes out of her. She let out a small yelp like a wounded puppy.
The very nice looking man laughed. "Are you okay miss? You've been sitting here for a while."
"Um, yes, I'm sorry. I came to pick up my kids and well, nevermind."
"Ah I see, you must be Kim. Hi (he extended his hand through the window) I'm George, I do the maintenance around here."
Of course, they have a maintenance man when I can't afford a can of Raid! Kim fumed inside but outside she smiled.
"Well, thank you for checking on me, I guess I should grab the boys and go."
"That will be hard to do." George said.
"Umm what do you mean?"
"Adam and Melanie aren't back yet and the boys are still at camp. They all arrive home Thursday."
WHAT THE.... She was about to explode.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?!" Try as she might, she was less than calm. The emotions were massive and the chaos was building in her trying to get out.
George, looking troubled now, said "I thought you knew, I'm so sorry. I can't believe they didn't tell you." He truly looked shocked and a little caught off guard.
"No, no, it's not your fault. But thank you so much for the information."
She threw the car in gear and tore off like a cat with his ass on fire. Oh she was livid! How DARE he do this!! How dare he...that was the last thought in her head before she heard the crash, before she felt the impact and saw the darkness.

Your words are:
bribery ~ chaos ~ flimsy ~ invisible ~ massive ~ guilty
They were submitted by:

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them. 

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

Baking In A Tornado        
The Blogging 911             
On the Border                  
The Bergham Chronicles        
Southern Belle Charm        
Bookworm in the Kitchen    
Part-time Working Hockey Mom                               Climaxed                         

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Can I "Admit You're Happy" - poetry challenge

Once a month several of us, brave folks who want to be poets, get together on a theme and write down our verse. Some are fabulous at it, some are brave like me. This month the theme... "Admit You're Happy" this was difficult for me. I have never given myself permission to be happy unless it was okay with "him" whoever "him" was at the time.
Domestic violence is at epidemic proportions these days and it's not just women being abused. Men are abused but keep silent more than women. If you are in a domestic abuse situation PLEASE seek help, there is help out there, and yes it is scary to speak up.
Domestic Abuse Hotline
But please, please do if not for yourself, for those who really love you and care.

Can I...
Admit You're Happy
Can I...
Admit I stopped caring the day you left
Can I...
Be myself for once in my life
Can I...
Walk around and smile
and not feel guilty
Can I...
Really be happy without you
Can I...
move forward
Can I...
live a full life without you
Can I...
get healing from the abuse
Can I...
tell my story
Can I...
help others from what I've learned
Can I...
find my voice
Can I...
Admit I'm Happy?

The other poems...
Karen at Baking In A Tornado

Lydia at Cluttered Genius


Sunday, August 6, 2017

What is life about?

I do not know the original author but a dear friend of mine posted this one spoke to me and I wanted to share.

When I  woke up this morning, I asked myself,

"What is life about?"

I found the answer in my room...

The fan said, "Be cool."

The roof said, "Aim high."

The window said, "See the world!"

The clock said, "Every minute is precious."

The mirror said, "Reflect before you act."

The calendar said, "Be up to date."

The door said, "Push hard for your goals."

The floor said, "Kneel down and pray."

Friday, August 4, 2017

Governmental Remote Location - SSS

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 11 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado                
The Blogging 911         
The Lieber Family Blog           
The Bergham Chronicles        
Simply Shannon                   
Southern Belle Charm          
Bookworm in the Kitchen        
Part-time Working Hockey Mom
Not That Sarah Michelle           
Driving along Hwy 12 headed West to my connection for I-94 not near a dang thing. Man I wish I wasn't so tired, then I wouldn't have made that wrong turn.
It was getting dark and the weather man was talking about threatening weather. Gee imagine that winter and threatening weather in the middle of Montana?!?!
Scooting down the road and the dash starts to ding, good grief, now what?! Looking down I curse, F**K! The gas light is on, are you kidding me??? Damn, of course I am NO WHERE near the interstate yet and according to google I'm about an hour from the nearest gas station. Great just damn great.
Well, I'll go as far as I can and I slowed down, hoping to conserve gas.
Almost 45 minutes later the car slowed to a stop. Well, this was it, out of gas and at 10 p.m. on a Sunday night IF I could walk to the gas station in this pitch black night without getting lost I was sure they would not be open. I mean come on, had anything gone right today? No!
Around 1 a.m. I can't take it any more so I ventured out of the car and shine my flashlight around. I see a small cabin in the tree line and head that way. Upon my approach I can see a glow, maybe a light? Maybe I'm too exhausted but I keep going.
I reach the cabin and knock, nothing, I try the door knob and it opens. I step inside and draw in a quick deep breath. WHAT THE??? It looks like something off NCIS lab or CSI internal workings. This is crazy, am I dreaming? There are monitors, computers, satellite feeds, desk, files...what the heck have I found?
Me being me, I'm looking around, careful not to move too much or leave fingerprints, little did i know I was being watched.
I was about to open a file cabinet when the door opened behind me...
"Well, well, what do we have here? A snoop? A spy? Or just some idiot who ran out of gas in the middle of no where?" said a very fierce looking woman. She wore a dark suit and was packing a side arm.
Gulp... "ugh I did run out of gas and was hoping to find help" I said in a very feeble voice, why did I feel that her eyes were piercing my very soul?
This feeling of inferiority was new to me, I mean come on, I'm a man, a man's man. Very fit and not half bad looking but she made me feel like a slug of sorts. That stare. Those eyes...but she was talking again.
"Sir, I need for you to step slowly away from the cabinet with your hands where I can see them."
Wait, what? "I was just looking around, I'm not a spy or criminal...I I " as I walked forward.
"STOP, do not take one more step!"
I froze. She walked forward, "Do you know where you are? What this is? Who I am?"
I was dumbfounded, "ugh no, no and no"
She did not look convinced. "Why pray tell were you out on this godforsaken road in the middle of the night AND in weather that is eminent?"
"well, I'm stupid, I wasn't paying attention, took a wrong turn or missed my turn and didn't see that I was low on gas..."
She looked at me in disbelief. "Are you joking sir? Do you really expect me to believe that?"
"ugh, yeeess."
"Right, well we'll see what Hugo finds on you, he'll be back any minute now. Stand right there and do not move." her gaze never left me and made me feel very uneasy. I mean come on, a dude named Hugo that was hidden in the woods in the middle of Montana with government equipment in a small cabin...I had a feeling I was in deep deep kimchi. 
Moments later a man who did not disappoint with a name like Hugo walked in, he was huge, no that was an understatement, he was a freaking walking wall!
Hugo came in like a thunder cloud with a voice to match his looks, bold, loud, deep and booming.
"He's clear. So now what do we do with him? He's seen too much."
ugh damn, are you kidding me? was my own government going to bump me off in the woods of Montana???? Sweating, shaking and I could feel panic rising...could I take them? No. What would they do? Would I be killed, dropped in a prison somewhere, or worse?
The light was blinding, what the heck...I tried to open my eyes but they felt swollen.
"sir, sir are you okay?"
I managed to open my eyes and there over me was an EMS worker. Wait, where was I, what was going on? The last thing I remembered I had just taken a wrong turn or realized it. I tried to open my mouth but no sound came out. I grabbed my throat! WHERE was my voice?!
"Sir can you talk? Can you tell us your name?"
Sure I knew my yeah it's...Bob, no Rob, Robert? Damn it what was my name? Where was my voice? Where was I?
"Sir, can you write your name for us" the EMS worker handed me a pen. I wrote "no hablo ingles."
"Does anyone speak Spanish over here??" the worker shouted.
What?! Spanish, WHY would you need a spanish speaker? I looked at the paper, what? WHY did I write that...

Your “Secret Subject” is:
I thought it would be fun to have you write a post based on a randomly generated online prompt: Write a story that takes place in the winter. During the story, someone's method of transportation breaks down. A character builds a house, but the action is misinterpreted. The story ends in a government building.
It was submitted by:          

Sorry Tamara! This was the best I could come up with for your prompt. I was at such a loss.