Oh To My Surprise - April SSS

I had just settled down and gotten all cozy in bed when I heard a banging noise. Must be the wind I thought. So I rolled over. Again with the banging, it kept getting louder and louder. Reaching over for my phone, because I was comfortable, I texted my husband. He was downstairs working on a project. Hearing his phone vibrate I realized it was plugged in on  the nightstand. Well dang it. I'd have to get up and go ask him to see what the noise was.

Getting up and donning my slippers and robe I head down the hall. BANG BANG BANG and a moaning sound. Oh dear lord what is that??? I panicked and called 911.

Hello, this is 911, what is your emergency?

I keep hearing a loud banging noise in my house and now I hear moaning! PLEASE I can't find my husband, send someone over!!! NOW!

Operator: ma'am, you say your husband is missing?

Worry about that later! SEND SOMEONE NOW I think someone is breaking in my house!
All the while, the banging continued, the moaning and I swear I heard my name.
After giving my address and promising to stay upstairs, yeah like i'm going down there, I waited.
Where was Bruce anyway? OH NO what if he encountered the burglar and was hurt!! OH NO my mind was frantic and I saw the lights flashing through the curtains.
Oh yes! The cops are here. So glad. I peeked out the curtains, of course, now all the neighbors are gathering outside. How embarrassing.
It took hours, well, actually more like 15 minutes and there stood my husband. Soaking wet, shivering and from the look on his face mad as hell.
There was an officer right behind him. "Ma'am, are you Mrs. Jenson?" 
Yes I am.
"And is this your husband?"
Yes it is.
The officer laughed, okay folks, have a nice evening. He turned to walk away and I hear rolls of laughter, there must be a dozen cops in my hallway.
WAIT! What is going on? I yelled.
The cop, trying to keep a straight face, said "Ma'am, the moaning was your husband you was about frozen outside in his shorts. The sprinkler was on and it is 20 degrees out side. The banging was him, he was locked outside. Without his phone and keys." more laughter.
I was so embarrassed.
OMG how had I forgotten, he took the trashcans to the curb. I didn't realize he was locked out, AND the sprinklers came on. Oh good grief. I know the neighbors will have a field day.
Sheepishly I got off the end of the bed, grabbed a towel and handed it to my husband.
I'm sorry?!
He looked at me. Walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.
 THAT is how I woke up. The slamming of a door. I about jumped clean off the bed.BRUCE? I yelled.
From the bathroom I hear, "wait a minute".
When he came out and just looked at me. "What?" I said.
Really? That's all you have to say? "what?" all innocent like? he was clearly miffed.
Bruce, please, what is wrong. I was asleep and had the weirdest dream.
Please tell me all about it, he said in a very sarcastic tone.
I began telling him and he starts laughing.
I said, "wait, why are you laughing? Aren't you mad that in my dream I locked you out, sort of?"
No. I'm laughing because you were moaning and saying "officer please come now"!
OH MY WORD... where did his mind go?

Thanks Karen for the prompt. 

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 10 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado                           https://www.BakingInATornado.com

Never Ever Give Up Hope             https://batteredhope.blogspot.com

Wandering Web Designer              https://wanderingwebdesigner.com/my-dream-car-one-that-runs-secret-subject-swap

Cognitive Script                           https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com   

The Bergham Chronicles               https://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/

The Crazy Mama Llama                  https://www.thecrazymamallama.com/

Climaxed                                      https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com/        

Southern Belle Charm                    https://www.southernbellecharm.com  

Bookworm in the Kitchen                 https://www.bookwormkitchen.com/ 

Stacy Sews and Schools                   https://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/  

You are home alone and just went to bed.  Suddenly you hear loud bangs coming from inside your home. You call the police and they investigate. When they finally knock on your bedroom door, they are laughing at you. When they show you what it is you are so embarrassed.

It was submitted by: https://www.bookwormkitchen.com/